Purple State, USA

One Year.

So, here we are. The commitment to this blog was for a year. As of this month, a year after the first post about the riots in Iran, we have officially made it!

It is astounding to contemplate all I didn't know at this time last year. We were about to welcome a new daughter, new friends were made, old friends rediscovered and existing relationships redefined. There was inspiration for a new book, a new company and more than one new direction (as well as a few u-turns and more than one circle).

I won't say it was a flawless trip around the sun, but it was certainly a worthwhile one. I learned... and realized I still have much left to learn.

This blog has been an enjoyable part of the past year. I thank each of you for taking this journey with me. Your emails and comments--ranging from funny to sad, inspirational to angry--have been both entertaining and enlightening. Thank you for thinking enough of me to share your time and your thoughts.

Before putting this blog to rest, let me post a few closing thoughts I have related to the things I have learned or been reminded of this year:

Figure out how to be happy... not superficial happy or stupid happy or ignorant happy, but the kind of happy that brings you peace no matter how trying the circumstance.

Don't be afraid of questions--your own or anyone else's.

If you want change, start with yourself.

Don't be scared to think.

Be brave enough to go against the flow for the things you believe in.

Don't believe in everything.

Choose your battles wisely, but once you choose them, fight passionately.

Realize that failure is an inevitable part of each of our journeys, so don't be afraid of it. Instead, learn from it, even enjoy it.

Remember that the majority of people are good... and likely just as thrilled, confused and devastated by this world as any of us. Any conversation that can begin with those things in mind is a conversation that can often prove productive for all parties.

That's it. Feel free to continue to email--Purple State things still interest me. Check out my new book (Baby Girl) when it comes out later this year.

Most importantly, take good care of each other. ;)

Juli

Rethinking... Loyalty

Purple State will be back to it's regular programming this weekend (yes, yes... comments and all ;-)).

In the meantime, be sure to check out Rethinking...! This is where we're going to discuss issues still very much inline with the common sense\Purple State view, but which might lack some of the political angle the majority of Purple State readers prefer.

I told you. You ask, and you shall receive. Enjoy! ;-)

Whatever You Do.

"Whatever you do will be insignificant, but
it is very important that you do it."

-Gandhi

Today we remember those who lost their lives
during the April 19, 1995, terrorist attack in Oklahoma City.

Purple State Citizens' Favorites

This week most of us are out enjoying the (finally!) Spring weather, so I decided to take the opportunity to share some of the more lighthearted political quotes, cartoons and pictures we have received from you this week.

Quotes:

"If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough." -Albert Einstein

"We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid." -Benjamin Franklin

"Sometimes I think our entire society needs one big collective hobby. Just a group activity to calm our nerves. We're all so angry. Seriously, what do we have to be so angry about? My supermarket sells eight different kinds of salsa. Whatever." -excerpt from an article by John DeVore on criticizing others

Cartoons:

 
  (for all our pilot friends...)

 

Pictures:

(in honor of next week's blog--thanks, Cody, it's perfect!)

 

There are days...

There are days that make us question our core beliefs; days that make our hearts ache and threaten to break our spirits. On those days, it's hard to remember why we started or even where we thought we were going. Today is one of those days for us.

About six months ago you might remember a baby girl named Jovi joining our family. She has grown into a beautiful, happy little girl.Today we were devastated to learn that she may be leaving us at some point in the near future. This was not the future we hoped for. These are not the things we dreamed of.

It is tempting to get angry, to say... "I wish I'd never known anything that could cause me to suffer this much..." I have choked on rage and sadness today, self-doubt and self-pity. And I can tell you. This place is so dark. But I know I would walk it a hundred times for a little girl as beautiful and as special as Jovi.

If the day does come when we have to say our good-byes... hopefully I will be able to realize that the question isn't why we weren't able to keep her forever, but how we ever got lucky enough to have met her at all. We have been blessed to bear witness to her life this past half-year.

We wouldn't trade one moment. And we will cherish every moment remaining.

Change.

We have a busy and exciting week ahead, as I know many of you do as well. I have lots of things on my mind, but nothing quite ready to publish, so I wanted to simply share a thought related to many of the things we are confronted with in our personal, professional and political lives...

As hard as it is for people to change, it is even harder for us to let them.

How much of what we see repeated day after day--month after month, year after year--is due to a failure of change versus a refusal to see that change? I hope that in those rare moments when the people around me have gone through the difficult work of change that I am not the one making it even more difficult for them by retaining a jaded, cynical inability to recognize their achievement.

Communication

I was forwarded a quote by Marcus Aurelius this past week. I thought it was an excellent statement on the virtues of discussion: "If anyone can show me, and prove to me, that I am wrong in thought or deed, I will gladly change. I seek the truth, which has never yet hurt anybody. It is only persistence in self-delusion and ignorance which does harm."

I suffered a serious communication failure this past week and it is a wound I am still confounded by, trying to figure out how it might have been avoided; wondering if it's simply an indication that I was wrong to attempt the conversation to begin with. I have read emails from some of you stating that you don't like talking to people about your individual convictions because it is simply too difficult.

Marcus' statement, however, is a great reminder of the virtues and purpose of discussion, which is to have the opportunity to open our eyes to another's view of the world--if only for a moment and even if we don't always agree. Anyone willing to show up and have an honest conversation deserves credit for the attempt. Sometimes our efforts are going to blow up in our faces, but what we gain by reaching outside our normal comfort zone often far outweighs any pain. Something I have been personally reminded of this week.

Sonja. I give you so much credit for being willing to show up for what was--no question--an unorthodox discussion. You are twenty kinds of cool. And all I think today is that the gods better take good care of you wherever you go in life. We are all better off for the fact you are here.

A Week (or Two) Off...

Greetings, Purple-State-rs! I have to tell you that it's been a tiring week for me. Extraordinary blessings and painful disappointments... Ultimately, what I suspect only means it can be chalked up to a week well-lived. ;-)

I have to admit, however, that it has left me a bit in need of a moment to catch my breath! Given that, and having had little opportunity to keep up with the news these past seven-or-so days, I don't have a topic ready for discussion this week. I do know it's been eventful for more than just myself! How about sharing what we've seen in the news lately? It can be funny, serious, scary, political, simply entertaining... whatever has made you look twice (or more).

You are all awesome and so much fun. Thanks for getting involved in the discussions we are having out here!

Lord Have Mercy On My Next 30 Years.

It was suggested that in honor of my twin brother's 30th birthday this coming Friday that I dedicate this week's post to that subject. Instead, I think I'll talk about myself for a minute, though so significant a milestone is still far away for me. Ha. ;-)

I am fairly certain there was a time when thirty sounded ancient. However, having almost made it there, I'm thinking the other side isn't so bad. All across the board, things are as good now as they have ever been. Rather than sadden me my reflections have instead reminded me that I have been fortunate through the years to be surrounded by the best in so many areas--intellectually, physically, emotionally. I can see how these people have shaped the person I am and continue to become.

If you'll indulge me, I would like to take a moment to acknowledge them...

There was Ryan Popp who gave me an incredible little boy that I feel blessed, stunned and a little terrified that life saw fit to entrust, in part, to me; There was Jim Surber, in my early-20's, who challenged me to learn to communicate in ways not so aggressive as those I witnessed as a child; There was Cindy Wright who showed me unconditional--truly unconditional--love; There was Mike Cartwright--who, at 15, when I proclaimed that I "would be somebody someday"--informed me quite simply that I already was somebody;

There was Andy Lalumia who taught me that sometimes the future we think we want isn't nearly as good as the one that is in store; There is Christine Davis who has taught me that friendship involves a whole lot of patience and just a bit of blindness to the flaws we all have (as she has done for me more than once!); There is John Miller who taught me that the most unexpected people can save you even when you don't realize you're drowning; There was Gary Gummig who taught me that complete strangers can change your life for the better;

Richard Ross who taught me that life will give you someone\something to make you laugh even when a moment before you didn't believe you would ever stop crying; Sonja Gautama who reminded me that discounting a single decision as a regret often times disregards all the good that did happen as a result of an action that--at first (and even last) glance--might appear to be a failure; There is Rob North who reminded me that everyone has something we can relate to, if we will just take a moment to truly listen; 

Lisa Buckner for walking through the valleys with me; Mr (Greg) Butler who fought for me when I wasn't yet fighting for myself, for starting a chain of events that eventually gave me the strength to build a safe place for myself; Ms (Terry) Sollazzo whose advice I have never forgotten... to write truthfully and, at the same time, from my heart; Mr (Michael) Brooks for telling me "Things don't have to fall apart, the center will hold"; Officer Pope for sparing $5 for a hungry kid; Sterling (unknown) for giving me a chance when I had no experience on my resume to back up my claim of being able to do the job I knew (and have since proven) I could do;

Bryant--My incredibly intelligent, articulate son... for making being a mom cool; Jovi--Baby girl, I hope we can soon welcome you to our family officially... regardless, for blessing the path we have thus far been fortunate to share.

There are more. Some whose names I know and many more whose names I don't. Of all the material things I have gained and lost and gained again in the past thirty years, of all the different roads I have taken and the achievements most of society would judge me by... When I look back, it's the people who have shared the journey with me that I see.

I am human. I have bad days. I make mistakes. Sometimes I get angry when I shouldn't or frustrated when I wish I wouldn't... But in those rare moments when my own strength isn't enough, I call on my memories of these people and I find my strength there; knowing that many of them have believed in me and seen me through worse.

I don't have the religious faith of many, but I have been blessed and I am truly grateful for every step of this journey so far. I have been fortunate to have cried and screamed and loved and learned and lost and laughed so hard I could barely breathe. Just as importantly, I am very much looking forward to doing more of the same in whatever time I have remaining! As my more distinguished colleagues often say... Bring it on! ;-)