I grew up in a primarily neutral world--the bright and ostentatious as socially unacceptable as the dark and morose. Emotions--good and bad--were to be tempered at all costs. It was about tradition, the status quo, the appearance. Not asking too many questions. Fitting in. An unspoken fear of different views, different opinions. It wasn't, Why don't they believe as we do? It was, What's wrong with them that they don't believe as we do?
Fortunately, I was so bad at living this way that by the time I was sixteen I had a new world. Of course, it didn't seem fortunate at the time. It was blinding and overwhelming, unfamiliar and scary. It was full of sights, sounds, people--ideas--that my previous existence would not have tolerated.
It changed me. Mostly for the better. I gained knowledge. And found respect. I learned not to be afraid of existence at any spectrum. Life is a persistent, giving force no matter where you find it. It should be embraced, felt, lived. It is possible to get lost in profound joy and devastating pain without losing sight of ourselves. It is possible to debate and compromise without it turning the entire world upside down.
The most significant thing I learned, though, is that there is only one truly reprehensible individual... the one who has no opinion at all. The people who aren't searching or thinking or seeing... they are the ones who do the most harm.
Show me a man angrily waving a gun next to a man looking apathetically the other way and ask me which one I think is, ultimately, the most dangerous. It is--hands down--the latter. The man who cannot bring himself to care, to form an opinion, to take a stand. He will always be subject to the men who do. He will never learn from them or be better for knowing them... or teach them or make them better for knowing him. He has stopped. He is weak and repulsive.
If we find ourselves on opposite sides of a debate, let me start by saying that no matter how vehemently we may disagree--thank heavens you have cared enough to show up, to form an opinion. The idea that we must agree in order to respect each other is misguided at best. At worst--and more often--, it is outright detrimental.
We grow through the intellectual, sometimes passionate, exchange of thoughts and ideas. Next time you meet someone with an opinion different than yours, how about consciously getting excited? After all, in front of you both is an opportunity to learn something new. Embrace it.
