A double post this week, if you'll permit me...
I've heard it said that people can only hurt us if we let them. While I'm certain there are contexts in which this statement is brilliantly insightful, as a more generalized statement I find it to be crap. The unfortunate uncertainty about sharing our lives with other imperfect people is that we are bound to get hurt and to hurt others along the way. The only way to truly not get hurt is to refuse to share our lives and our experiences, but what would be the point of that?
Let me tell you how I failed this week.
First. I have a friend who left for Afghanistan last Wednesday. Though I'd made a trip to visit her a couple weeks ago and despite having that date burned into my head as unbelievably significant... somehow it wasn't until the actual day that I remembered she was deploying. I realized too late to call her, which is something I am certain she noticed and something I am certain hurt her in a way I didn't intend. Though my heart and my mind are with her, I get that my actions did not convey that.
Second. In my honest attempts to deal with some issues related to a very good friend of mine, I inadvertently put myself on the wrong side of the fence when he was hit by a proverbial train this week. It some ways, it underscores the concerns I'd had for quite awhile... but that doesn't lessen the fact that it hurts not to be able to help a friend and a family who so definitely deserve only happiness.
Fortunately, no single moment is the sum of any of our lives or relationships, though certainly there are moments when the trees in front of us overshadow the surrounding forest.
I know I could tie this to politics, as most posts on here strive to do, but I'll let you draw any parallels on your own at this point. For now, I want to tell you that I love these two friends and their families deeply. For next week, I am simply going to try to do better. I don't know if that will be enough, but it's all I can do... so I guess it will have to be.
