Purple State, USA

Communication

I was forwarded a quote by Marcus Aurelius this past week. I thought it was an excellent statement on the virtues of discussion: "If anyone can show me, and prove to me, that I am wrong in thought or deed, I will gladly change. I seek the truth, which has never yet hurt anybody. It is only persistence in self-delusion and ignorance which does harm."

I suffered a serious communication failure this past week and it is a wound I am still confounded by, trying to figure out how it might have been avoided; wondering if it's simply an indication that I was wrong to attempt the conversation to begin with. I have read emails from some of you stating that you don't like talking to people about your individual convictions because it is simply too difficult.

Marcus' statement, however, is a great reminder of the virtues and purpose of discussion, which is to have the opportunity to open our eyes to another's view of the world--if only for a moment and even if we don't always agree. Anyone willing to show up and have an honest conversation deserves credit for the attempt. Sometimes our efforts are going to blow up in our faces, but what we gain by reaching outside our normal comfort zone often far outweighs any pain. Something I have been personally reminded of this week.

Sonja. I give you so much credit for being willing to show up for what was--no question--an unorthodox discussion. You are twenty kinds of cool. And all I think today is that the gods better take good care of you wherever you go in life. We are all better off for the fact you are here.

Don't Ask. But When is it Right to Tell?

Stephanie is scared. She is huddled behind a building with her squadron. They have been surrounded and taking incoming fire for hours that have slowly stretched into an eternity. They are running out of ammunition and--with it--time. The good news is they have a plan that might just turn the tables in their favor. Might. It's far from fool-proof.

In light of that, Stephanie can't help but think of her friends and family back home. In between strategizing to get themselves to safety, she can't help but think that there is so much she would say to those people she loves if they were here with her, for just one more moment. Looking into the eyes of her battle-worn comrades, she can tell they are having similar thoughts.

Stephanie's situation is different though. Her life partner--her significant other--is a female. A fact she has hidden well in order that she would be permitted to serve the country she loves, in order to be afforded the opportunities to advance through its military ranks. The military that said she could die for her country, but only if she betrayed a significant part of her life.

She had accepted the rule without much protest, as just part of a game she had to play. Except now. Now it was a little trickier. She can tell the people around her that last message for the person she loves--as they are doing, should any of them make it while the other doesn't--but the risk to doing so isn't insignificant. If she does make it and these people decide in the light of calmer circumstances to take issue with it, or tell the wrong person... then she would be kicked out of the very military she was willing to risk death to serve in.

It's true that there is plenty to be said for why religion and sexual orientation--or anything else--simply can't be permitted to interfere with the organization of a military that's very success and security depends on its ability to move as a cohesive unit. On the other hand, these people are risking their lives for our country. Shouldn't we be able to find a way to let them at least be true to themselves while doing that?

A Week (or Two) Off...

Greetings, Purple-State-rs! I have to tell you that it's been a tiring week for me. Extraordinary blessings and painful disappointments... Ultimately, what I suspect only means it can be chalked up to a week well-lived. ;-)

I have to admit, however, that it has left me a bit in need of a moment to catch my breath! Given that, and having had little opportunity to keep up with the news these past seven-or-so days, I don't have a topic ready for discussion this week. I do know it's been eventful for more than just myself! How about sharing what we've seen in the news lately? It can be funny, serious, scary, political, simply entertaining... whatever has made you look twice (or more).

You are all awesome and so much fun. Thanks for getting involved in the discussions we are having out here!