Don't Ask. But When is it Right to Tell?

Stephanie is scared. She is huddled behind a building with her squadron. They have been surrounded and taking incoming fire for hours that have slowly stretched into an eternity. They are running out of ammunition and--with it--time. The good news is they have a plan that might just turn the tables in their favor. Might. It's far from fool-proof.

In light of that, Stephanie can't help but think of her friends and family back home. In between strategizing to get themselves to safety, she can't help but think that there is so much she would say to those people she loves if they were here with her, for just one more moment. Looking into the eyes of her battle-worn comrades, she can tell they are having similar thoughts.

Stephanie's situation is different though. Her life partner--her significant other--is a female. A fact she has hidden well in order that she would be permitted to serve the country she loves, in order to be afforded the opportunities to advance through its military ranks. The military that said she could die for her country, but only if she betrayed a significant part of her life.

She had accepted the rule without much protest, as just part of a game she had to play. Except now. Now it was a little trickier. She can tell the people around her that last message for the person she loves--as they are doing, should any of them make it while the other doesn't--but the risk to doing so isn't insignificant. If she does make it and these people decide in the light of calmer circumstances to take issue with it, or tell the wrong person... then she would be kicked out of the very military she was willing to risk death to serve in.

It's true that there is plenty to be said for why religion and sexual orientation--or anything else--simply can't be permitted to interfere with the organization of a military that's very success and security depends on its ability to move as a cohesive unit. On the other hand, these people are risking their lives for our country. Shouldn't we be able to find a way to let them at least be true to themselves while doing that?

Comments

[K Hertz]

I'm of the opinion that if we don't think enough of them to let them be honest about something as ultimately unimportant as sexual preference (when character, integrity, strength have nothing to do with that), then we should just clearly discriminate and not let them serve at all. If we want them to defend us, we should let them be honest about who they are.

[Matt D]

Why can't they handle it the same as having different religious--or for that matter any fundamental--beliefs? You don't have to deny who you are, but you just can't act in any way that would impose your beliefs on those who might not agree. Likewise, those with opposite beliefs have to learn to be tolerant.

[Adam Kristow]

I guarantee you it doesn't matter the gender of whoever the person next to me is sleeping with when we're in the middle of a gun battle.

[Nick Lewis]

Precisely, and assuming heterosexual men and women in uniform aren't grown up enough to handle serving next to someone of that persuasion is ridiculously archaic.